Peace and Hippie Love

I am frustrated. Why ask? Everyone in my family are letting their damn frustrations out to each other because of other people around us. Oh great, what a great time to express it. What do I get? Heck yeah, it's a very long sermon and a slap. It doesn't even hurt for my body is numb.

Do you know what do I hate most? Tolerating the sh*tty mood of my older brother. Damn it. I am so f*cking frustrated. Acting so mighty, so genius, so superior and all. Damn it. I am frustrated. WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU CARE?! Are you gonna take me to the court for letting me say these things? What the hell do you know about me anyway? I don't treat everybody as my friend. I never do that. Even though I act nice to you, I don't count you as a friend. I only count them as a person I know. Friends are people who are always there for your in your happiest and saddest times. All the friends that I've known didn't join my saddest moment. I feel terribly alone. That's the time I realized that I'm better tolerate my own feelings alone. I have nobody to lean on. I have nobody to share my resentments. Nobody to talk about my frustrations to. They all like what they can get from me. Money, fame and other things. The rest, oh f*cksh*t.

Will I ever find a person who will learn to accept the real me? I've been hiding the real me for ages. But I am afraid if I let it out, nobody will ever appreciate my existence. Nobody to laugh with, nobody to cry with. I am afraid.

Believe me. Stay with me. Learn to accept me. Love me.

Today is the anniversary in which the participants of Cavite Councilwide Jamborette last September 2007. The participants last year remember all those muddy days and "stormy" sleepless nights. I really miss that experience, too bad Sir Onie is not here anymore because he fled off the country. We greeted each other "Happy Anniversary" to remember that enjoyful moment that we once experiences throughout our high school life.

Happy birthday to Algerson! Even though, he doesn't have anything to return our greetings, I think he was happy since we remembered the day where he became alive. I hope everyone will remember my special day too.

Earlier, I was wondering why Marco is acting all grouchy? I am really wondering. Maybe, I'm just like this because I am treating him like my best friend. I think he's a little pissed off with something or with someone. It's always like that.

Now Gerlyn gave me her copy of University of Santo Tomas Application Form. I am now thinking if I will take USTet? From the very first, I don't like in University of Santo Tomas. Why? It's an elite school after all, why not go there? It is because even though they offer Bachelor of Science in Computer Studies, they can't give it up to its Masteral Degree. That's my reason why I chose De La Salle University-Manila instead. Gosh, help me to decide. Comment me back!

Due to my frustration regarding the matter stated above, I shaved my arms. Yes, I am willing to do idiotic things when I'm frustrated or depressed. Better watch out for me, please. For my friends, please do take care of me since I'm really emotionally unstable. I really don't have "mood swings", it just happens that I can stick being bitchy at all times.

Alright, enough with my non-sense talks, it's time to review something now.

I think yesterday really made me pissed off. My day was ruined by those bitchy girls from other schools. I really hate them! If I ever spot their faces on college, I will spill something over them so they can learn a lesson not to start something bad on me. In every favor that you will get, you must return them with gratitude.

*flashback*

I went to school as the same time as I go everyday. I stopped at the gate finding that most of the seniors are gathered in front of the gate waiting for the bus to arrive. The teachers are also waiting and at the same time trying to contact the ones that we rented for our educational trip. As we wait, me, Marco and Heway just roamed around the school since we're bored on just standing. As we go back, the bus is already there so we hoped in. Shaider and Eugene was eyeing me very suspiciously, as if there's a plan going on. I tried not to punch their faces since I'll be owing another one from Shaider and from the cutey teddy bear of mine, Eugene. For the meantime, I sat beside Jerice and Roland. After waiting for a few minutes, we went off. Food hunting begins.

As we travel to Tagaytay, I noticed that Bea was not acting herself. She was kind of shivering and utterly quiet. Very unusual for someone like her. Then, Gerlyn asked me if there is any stopover. I said none. But, the reason for asking was to let Bea to pee. I was paused for a moment and I immediately told the teachers about this. Thus, "Bea-being-a-VIP" started since Sir Ces accompanied Bea to find for a place to pee. After that, Bea was now A-OK!

We are now in Tagaytay. My classmates are now standing up from their seats, trying to take a picture of Taal Volcano which is seen from there. Chaos was doubled. Better prepare youself for the next scenarios. It will cause brain damage.

Royal Tagaytay Country Club was our destination. As we entered the building, we noticed that some students from other schools are looking at us. We were kind of "uhh..". We were asked to assemble at the basketball court first so the people there can take a picture for their website.

For the main event, the exhibition of different colleges and universities are all around and trying to commercial their colleges to us. Of course, I am now interested in these things because I'm already in my 4th year high school, I should plan for my path in college. But, there are some stupid bastards who are always making "pa-cute" even though they're not cute. Gosh! I just hate it. It's annoying. Also, there are some bitchy girls who are tossing their "oh-so-silky" hairs in front of my face. How dare them. To return with gratitude, I gave them a comeback in which they can't be able to reply. Heh! Good for them, since it was English and in a soft but strong voice.

We ate our lunch at the bus since Gen insisted to put our heavy brochures there. While inside, there were fulls of food. Yes, I like this part the most. Afterwards, we just went back to have our cards to have our names since it will be essential to the near future. *sarcastic tone*

Then we went to SM Dasmariñas to shop around. Since it was still raining, we had fun in the bus since we're watching Step Up 2. The whole gang danced with the ending song. It was fun! Super! We shopped around as you will think. I only bought a jacket and a wallet since I only have 500 pesos to spend. Darn. I always bring 1000 pesos when I go to department stores. I saw Shaider and Michael bringing Blue Magic paper bags. As I came to them, I mocked them "Oh you're busying Blue Magic now not Bear Cuddler. How nice." They just laughed and said that there was no Bear Cuddler. True. But there's Cuddles and Bear Huggs. Since we're all dead tired, we returned to the bus.

Alright, going home made go crazy as hell. They all had their plans initiated. They made me have Jake as my seatmate and everybody on the bus including Ma'am Adette and Sir Ces tease us. I was covering my face with my scarf because of shame. Sir Ces asked me, "are you two an item?" I was looking at him with a twitched eye plastered upon my face like saying "are you trying to mock me?". Oh darn. This is the most humiliating experience ever. I was looking at Marco, my oh-so-best-friend, with my irritated experession. He knew that I don't like receiving a lot of attention. Good thing it was all over when he was off in Trece.

I was so drained out when I got home. But it's okay since I got my El Filibusterismo book back from him and with a Cudbery Chocolate. But the truth is, I don't like chocolates. Weird, huh?

I am so dead tired. I think that I didn't learn anything today because I feel so sick right now. There should be no classes since everybody's tired and we haven't got any sleep at all. But, having the career orientation is not fun unlike last year. Since last year, there's a lot more universities and colleges showing-off what they can do for the future college applicants.

I am really sleepy. I can't take it anymore.
I need to rest.

As far as we know, today is the 9-11 bombing that happened in New York, USA a few years ago. Without this tragic incident, there would be no "My Chemical Romance" in which teenagers these days are influenced by their music. But, don't ask me. I'm not a MCR ultra-fan. I just like their songs.

Today we had our activity in Chemistry, the Team Ice Cream. We had so much fun. Since everybody had a chance on how to make an ice cream within our very own hands. As we're making the ice cream, we failed to behave ourselves. We threw rock salts at each other, put ice blocks in the uniforms of our classmates. Yes, this kind of activity brings our bonds close.

There are dozens of salty flavors: cheese, vanilla and mocha. The only ice cream that tasted good was on Tin-Anne's group since they added skim milk and marshmallows and chocolates to their ice cream. After eating them all, my stomach feels like I'm going to blow up.

Jasper, Jay-Em and Alrich were doing some seductive dances to each other that didn't failed the whole class to laugh with their gags. I love those idiots.

Hope there's another team ice cream.

Yes, I am a Cafekko, a term used to call An Cafe fans around the globe.
Being a devoted fan, means that you'll update your blog with their latest news.
Guess what? An Cafe released their latest single: Summer Dive!

It's a good song which you'll find yourself dancing in their rhythm (that's why they play "dance rock", doh!). If you show interest in Japanese music, at least give this awesome female-looking guys a chance. I'm sure, you won't regret it.


To the anti-An Cafe: We are not forcing you to check on them and flame them. Yes, most of their fans are girls. But, it doesn't mean that we're dumb. Only those people who don't understand the essence of having An Cafe as their idol won't understand because they're proven to be idiots. So, shut the hell up!

I've always wonder ever since I was a child, how do people grow? Is it by cultural change? Or is it the influence he/she is getting from his/her peers? Or some family things? I've realized that it's hard to grow up. Yes, I want to grow up as soon as possible to achieve up my dream job and career, but I'm afraid to leave all of my beloved things when I'm still young.

Today's the month of September. Yes, it's the start for the countdown for Christmas and for my birthday. I'm already excited. Of course, it's my sweet sixteenth birthday. No matter how hard I tried to hide it, it still lingers on my blood. I can feel my arteries are going to burst out because of too much excitement for my body to handle.

Am I doing good in my life? I guess not. Since I'm not a talker, I couldn't find a way how to express my personal thoughts. If I put it on the blog, some people might read it and interpret it the wrong way, just like what happened last year. If I tried to write it on some paper, it would definitely lose. What am I going to do with myself? I tried writing my thoughts on my personal journal, but it doesn't have enough space now and I still don't have enough budget to afford another journal just like my previous one. It costs around 300 pesos in National Bookstore.